Between being on the one hand full of courage, faith and optimism. To the point where faith can feel like a mask and you can no longer breathe as a human being. There is no room for weaknesses, sighs, faltering, doubt and struggles, because everything should be in perfect shape. We like to be on a kind of a high in faith, and there is no room in our hearts for lack and failure.
On the other hand..
giving so much attention to each other’s ailments that problems become the center and discouraged we start to stare at the ground. Then we, as people, are honest about how we feel, what aggravates and hurts us, but we do not experience a victorious life, but being subject to the ups an downs of daily life.
I have visited different Christian communities in recent years and have seen both sides. Also in extremes. A bit like politics, where you have the extreme left, the extreme right, and everything in between! The damage of one extreme is that there is no room for being human: transparency and vulnerability. The damage of the other extreme is that people continue to live their lives sincerely but discouraged and with the same problems.
One is too focused on being human, where there’s room for lack without deep fulfillment and healing. The other being too much focused on being spirit and being whole and fulfilled, without room for lack and vulnerability.
One has the risk that your life of faith can become a superficial thing that consists of showing a spiritual portfolio and holding up a mask of faith. The other extreme has the risk that you get stuck in a thorn forest of problems, don’t get ahead and rise with the power of the Spirit.
I asked Father, how do I deal with this? I find it so difficult to find a balance here. I long to be transparent and vulnerable, but also to go through life with your vision and strength. Then I notice again that I swing too much in one direction and want to go through life as a Hercules of faith, in which I fall flat on my face again in full recklessness and experience no room to be open and honest about my slip ups. On the other hand, if I focus too much on problems and weaknesses, I can become a nagger and complainer, and negativity turns inward and outward. If you’re not careful you get stuck in a pool of bitterness.
Come on! Don’t think in problems. Think in solutions.
What is the middle ground? Why not some of both? Walking in faith and strength, but also giving room for weaknesses and problems. Strong and courageous, yet small and vulnerable. There may be a balance in this. I’m still looking, but I’m on my way. Then, like Jesus, I am the Son of Man – son and man. Knowing yourself as a human being; naked and dependent, like a newborn baby, vulnerable but secure in the Father’s hands.
And to know yourself as a son; a victor, bold and brave as a lion, a mighty warrior, king and priest, but above all a beloved child; loved in your flaws with a flawless love.
